Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
