i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
