Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
