They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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