OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
