why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
