Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
