I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
