last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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