I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
