I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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