He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
