i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
