i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Im part way to drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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