girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
