I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
