Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
