The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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