There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize