I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
