You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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