can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
