Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown