I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?