i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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