Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
