Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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