I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
