Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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