Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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