non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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