this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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