Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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