I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
