I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
