Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
