I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
