The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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