im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I AM VODKA MAN
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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