oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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