No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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