if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The power of my boobs compel you
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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