I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
