yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
