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best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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