remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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