I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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