he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
