forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
