the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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