it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
