If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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