dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
