...so i touched it.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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