im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
