i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
