just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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