If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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