I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
