Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
