My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I deserve this hangover.
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