GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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